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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28313355">forever again</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/kurgaya/pseuds/kurgaya'>kurgaya</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>chronic pain [8]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Blank Period, Chronic Pain, Don't copy to another site, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Fourth Shinobi War, Short One Shot</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 15:55:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,477</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28313355</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/kurgaya/pseuds/kurgaya</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Gai doesn’t push himself too hard: he knows his limits. A taijutsu master must know their limits.</i>
</p><p>[Post-Fourth Shinobi War. It's just hurt/comfort, that's all it is].</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hatake Kakashi/Maito Gai | Might Guy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>chronic pain [8]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1743751</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>97</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>KakaGai Week 2020 entries</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>forever again</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hello darkness my old friend</p><p>(written for kkgweek 2020 day 1: burden)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gai had almost forgotten how bad he could hurt. It’s dawn and he’s hardly slept. Autumn light warms the world beyond the window and gold rain splatters against the shutters. It’s a gentle rain for October. Gai listens to it as he wakes, and the shadows of the raindrops flicker across the ceiling like tiny sparks. Numbness tingles down his leg in much the same fashion. He doesn’t think much of it at first. Sleeping often results in stiffness, these days, and the strange non-sensation in his leg has been there since the war. He describes it as pins and needles to anyone who asks, but the feeling is deeper than that, far deeper than his skin and bones. It’s like his nerves are cold. It’s like they’re squirming under his skin, trying to get warm.</p><p>Kakashi huffs in his sleep. He’s mostly in Gai’s futon, sprawled out like a dog. The duvet is tucked under his ears. All there is to see of him is the white of his hair and his silver scar. He won’t wake for another hour or two yet, but the village will survive a little longer without him. Gai smiles, happy to let him sleep.</p><p>Gai’s stomach growls. He can’t sleep forever like Kakashi. He is a man of routine, of discipline, and he needs no alarm clock but the sun. Even though he slept poorly last night, he must rise. It’s been a while since he tossed and turned in the night, and Gai hopes that isn’t a bad omen as he rolls onto his knees.</p><p>The pain staggers him. His body lurches in on itself. He gags around a breath. His elbow and hands crack against the floor as he catches himself and Gai wheezes, dazed, as his back and leg sting with pain. He’s on fire, he must be. The muscles in his lower back spasm, shooting bolts of pain to his toes. His calf cramps <em>hard</em>, fighting desperately for movement. Gai hisses into the floorboards. Black dots of shock blur across his eyes and he screws them shut, refusing to lose.</p><p>He can’t move. The pain is a vortex, and its waves drag him down to drown. The numbness he had disregarded chills him now, and at once, he is both hyper-aware of and completely detached from his body. It’s a familiar sensation, but one he hasn’t felt for some time now. He’s been taking care of himself, being careful. He’s religious with physio and strict with his meds. He doesn’t push himself too hard: he knows his limits. A taijutsu master <em>must</em> know their limits.</p><p>Gai tries to uncurl but his knee won’t unlock. He clenches his fists to try and stop his hands from shaking. Wave after wave of pain surges through him. <em>A moment</em>, he tries to tell himself, <em>just a moment</em>, but he can hardly put his thoughts together anymore. Intelligible sound escapes through his teeth.</p><p>“Gai? Oi, oi -”</p><p>Kakashi rolls over. He moves as though it’s the easiest thing in the world. His voice is thick with sleep and worry, and his hand lays gentle on Gai’s shoulder.</p><p>“<em>Don’t</em>,” Gai manages, and the effort it takes is astounding. He’d forgotten how exhausting it is to be in pain. He shakes his head, bewildered by the sudden relapse. A part of him wants to laugh. He hasn’t felt like this in over a year. He thought he was better. He thought this was <em>done</em>.</p><p>“What do you need?” Kakashi asks. He’s lowered his voice - or maybe Gai’s just that far away. “I’ll get it.”</p><p>Gai unclenches his fingers. Kakashi’s hand is there immediately, palm-up and spread. //B//, Gai signs into it, because he’s not sure he can manage the letter ‘H’. His jaw is locked together, and that’s the only thing stopping him from shouting.</p><p>Kakashi scrambles out of the bedroom. It takes two minutes to heat up the hot water bottle, and it feels like a lifetime. Gai drifts somewhere between touch and sound, and his thoughts spiral on the Eighth Gate, and all that it’s done. He hasn’t dwelled on the gate for a while - or any of the gates. He thinks of them now, his body burning in their flames.</p><p>Kakashi returns. The hot water bottle is scalding. He presses it into the base of Gai’s spine and it’s <em>bliss</em> - it’s warm, excruciating bliss.</p><p>“Fuck,” one of them hisses. It might be Gai. The pain eases just enough to take a breath.</p><p>“D’you need the hospital?” Kakashi asks. He presents his palm.</p><p>Gai swipes his fingers across it.</p><p>“Okay,” Kakashi says, confidence returning to his voice. He moves the hot water bottle under the waistband of Gai’s shorts. He knows exactly where it press and he presses hard, watching the discomfort twist into Gai’s face. “Can you lie on your side?”</p><p>Gai would like nothing more. He tries to straighten his legs but his body cramps. He’s stuck. Laughter surges up his throat like nausea. This isn’t what he expected from this morning at all.</p><p>“Push me.”</p><p>Kakashi knows by now not to hesitate. Hands grasp around Gai’s torso and pull. At once, there’s a moment of blinding pain followed by immediate relief, and Gai hits the futon before he has time to yell. The knife of pressure lifts from his back. The pain remains, but muted now. The spasms subside. His ruined leg is almost completely numb, but he doesn’t care now that he can move the rest of his body. Slowly, Gai shifts into a more comfortable position, and the base of his spine crunches angrily. He drags a hand over his face, laughing in disbelief.</p><p>“That was more than a twinge,” Kakashi says. He’s almost as stiff as Gai, frozen in fear. This definitely isn’t the wake-up call he was expecting.</p><p>“Feels bad,” Gai admits. Years ago, he wouldn’t dare. The shame of his injury was overwhelming; and the shame of not dying was worse. In those terrible months after the war, he battled with the truth that he could never be as he once was. Recovery can’t turn back the hands of time. He knows that now, and accepts it. He’s happy. He’s healthy.</p><p>He thought the worst was behind him.</p><p>Kakashi inches closer. He’s still holding the hot water bottle against Gai’s skin, but he seems hesitant to try anything else. At least Gai can turn his head to look at him now - and he does, finding Kakashi’s expression pinched with concern. His complexion is nearly as white as his hair. He’s sleep-tousled and uncaffeinated, yet his eyes are alert. Burdened.</p><p>“How bad?”</p><p>Gai swallows. He can’t taste any vomit so it’s not the worst morning-pain he’s ever had. He pats the futon, hoping Kakashi will lie down. He’s not going to be getting up for his morning exercise any time soon, so they might as well cuddle. In any other circumstance, Kakashi would be more than happy to oblige. “Eight. But don’t worry, it’s going down! It took me by surprise.”</p><p>“No shit,” Kakashi says. He sounds breathless, as though he was the one trying not to scream. “What happened? Is it just your leg?”</p><p>“My back, too,” Gai says, patting the futon more vigorously. His leg twitches of its own accord but the heat from the hot water bottle is working its magic. The pain continues to ease until it’s more of a deep, throbbing ache than a thousand white-hot knives. “I suppose I knocked it yesterday.”</p><p>“Knocked it? I thought you were <em>dying</em>.”</p><p>Sometimes, the pain makes Gai wish he was. But he hasn’t had thoughts like that for years.</p><p>“It’s nothing a good rest won’t fix!” he tries. “Give me a few minutes, and I’ll be up and about.”</p><p>“Are you sure?”</p><p>“Well, if you’d rather cuddle…”</p><p>Gai opens his arms. Kakashi’s mouth flattens almost to the point of amusement, but he doesn’t let himself smile. He does, however, settle down against Gai’s chest, which is the perfect position for the hot water bottle <em>and </em>a hug.</p><p>Gai grins. With Kakashi in his arms, it’s easier to ignore the pain. He presses a kiss into Kakashi’s brow, and hears a near-inaudible sigh.</p><p>“You don’t have to put on a brave face,” Kakashi says.</p><p>“I know,” Gai says. He won’t be able to if this morning is an omen for the rest of the day. But he can’t think of that now. Before the war, he was always thinking ahead; thinking of how he could improve, challenge himself, and strive. Then he opened the Eighth Gate - and survived. Now he’s burdened with that decision, and burdened with the weight of each day as it comes, one at a time.</p><p>It’s a slower life.</p><p>He brushes his fingers across Kakashi’s cheek. He tucks a stray white hair behind his ear.</p><p>But it’s life.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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